ding dong the bells are gonna ring!

(currently listening to : get me to the church on time from my fair lady)

Well, it's done! My mother is now married to a wonderful man. The wedding was so beautiful, and I was happy to be able to be part of such a happy day. Sit back and enjoy a fairytale story.

Once upon a time a princess met her prince, and they set a date to be wed. The princesses daughter flew to Lubbock, Texas with a few other friends of the princess to help prepare for the magical day. She made her own beautiful white wedding cake, and a chocolate four-layer for the groom while her helpers made decorations and goodies for the guests.

Family and close, supportive friends gathered in the town of Post, Texas at the Hotel Garza downtown. The day before the precious ceremony, all the princesses friends went shopping and sight-seeing without a care in the world. Later that evening, they all decorated, rehearsed, and ate.

At last, the big day had come. There was music, dancing, a white dress, a black suit, family, laughter, tears, and this west Texas bride and groom toasted to their new wonderful life with a cold glass of corona.

It was a wonderful wedding, and will be a wonderful life. I wish the best to both of you.

and they lived happily ever after.

More photos can be found on flickr as of midnight on 8/16/11.

Travel blog coming soon!

Love to all!

-the fickle chicken.

let's not and say we did.

(currently listening to: my mother's carpet being cleaned)

Hello All,

So it's true, I'm not using facebook anymore. I mean the fickle chicken page is still there, but I personally won't be posting life updates or pictures. All of that can be found here. Remember when we were little and there was a whole bunch of "he said/she said" business going on and everyone got their feelings hurt over it. That's how facebook is for adults, if you ask me. There is no way in hell you can truly grasp who a person is just by looking at their facebook. So I'm in the process of deleting every post and every picture. I must say, going through all of these statuses have made me realize how far I've come. I've gone from this rebellious annoying child, to a (slightly) sophisticated woman with drive, ambition, and passion. I'm really glad I made the decision to not have a facebook. My best friend, Joe, doesn't have one. And he's still alive. Don't worry, friends, I still have all my important links at the bottom of this blog post.

On another note...
I'm on vacation right now for several reasons:

-I lost my job.
-I miss my family in west texas.
-My mom's getting married.
-I miss my family in new mexico.

So I took about three weeks off to spend time with all these people. My plan was to take my cosmetology state board the day I left for vacation, so I would have my cosmetology license when I got back from vacation and would be able to start working in a salon immediately. Well that crap didn't work. The testing center didn't have running water, so the exam was cancelled and I had to re-schedule to take it when I get back to Austin on the 18th.

However, I did apply for several jobs on Craigslist anddddd.... (drum roll, please) I am getting hired at Sports Clips as soon as I get my license! Now, I know some of you may be thinking... "sports clips, really??" But I know what I'm doing.

-There will be a LOT of foot traffic, so I'll get tons of experience right off the bat.
-The pay is hourly, not commission, so I'll have a steady paycheck no matter what...
-PLUS retail commission and my hourly goes up based on productivity.
-There will be plenty of opportunity for management so I will be able to learn how to run a salon and eventually (hopefully, maybe) start my own salon in a couple of years.
-The hours will be super flexible.
-I will get to be around men all day.

What could be better than all that???

Anywho, I will be posting pictures from the wedding next week. Don't forget to go "like" the fickle chicken on facebook, and check out all my other websites.

www.youtube.com/ficklechicken
www.flickr.com/ficklechicken
I don't have a link to the facebook page yet, but if you go here : www.facebook.com/theficklechicken and click on the "Fickle Chicken" tag in the status posted on the page, you should get there!

Thanks for your support, everyone! Stay fickle!

-theficklechicken.

blessings in disguise

(currently listening to: blessings by laura story)

Hello all,

If you follow me on facebook, you probably already know I was "let go" from my job at the restaurant. And if you know me personally, then you know that I feel like my whole world has ended. Again, I spent a day or two crying hysterically, cursing the world, cursing the stupid manager that made it all happen, cursing myself, and wanting to move back home to momma.

Then I talked to some people and really thought about the situation, and I'm going about this in a different sense from here on out. I know that God has something so much bigger planned for me now, and I never would have had the strength to walk away from this job. I can gurantee that if this had not happened, I would probably still be there in five years working as a manager. My mental capacity goes so much further beyond a stupid corporate restaurant.

So instead of going to college (because I now can not afford it), I am in the process of finding a job in the salon world. That's the only thing I can do right now. Trust me, I've looked at ALL other options.

i don't think it's ironic that "in God we trust" is on all of our forms of money.
all i can do right now is trust Him with my finances.

I've really found a lot of peace in reading Romans 8. You can read the whole chapter for yourself, but here are a few that stand out to me:

"...if God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one... Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the PRESENT, nor the FUTURE, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-39

I'm really not trying to make this blog all about religion as I want it to be able to relate and reach out to people of all types. But when you literally have been stripped naked and have nothing but your faith, it's a little easy to post it everywhere.

Another verse that helps me a lot is this:

"trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways submit to Him and HE will make your paths straight." -proverbs 3:5-6

I know that only good will come out of this, I just have to keep my head up. Life is like one big puzzle. Every moment is a tiny piece that doesn't really make sense. Once the puzzle is complete and I have no more moments left, I will finally understand what the big picture is all about. And it will be a wonderful beautiful masterpiece that my gracious God has created for me. I just have to have faith.

Until next time,

-the fickle chicken.

for the love of art.

(currently listening to : womanizer by lily allen)

Heeeeey.

Just showing you how I've been channeling my crazy mind over the past 72 hours of heart brokenness.


"you look better with the lights off"

There is apparently a song that says "you look better with the lights off." So I took a picture with the lights off. I haven't heard this song. But everyone puts it as their status. I'm not full of myself, but I love taking pictures of myself like this lol.

...More like love me for a moment longer. I know I already showed you guys this one, but I added the words. It looked too naked. I really like this one. :)

 

"what are we?"

This one is in honor of a philosophy one of my good friends told me about. That we were all once trees. Good theory, but he explains it better.

Anyway. That's the end of that. My apartment reeks of beer. However, I don't recall drinking any. Weird.

Love.

-the fickle chicken.

understanding.

(currently listening to : multiply the heartaches by cake)

Hello friends,

Thank you for putting up with my depressing rant yesterday. It's just amazing how much love one heart can generate. But alas, I think I have come to an understanding. This man simply was not who I need in my life.

I don't want to go all "Jesus" on you, but I do love my Lord and I believe that everything happens for a reason. God has something special lined up for me. I can't doubt Him simply because I did not get my way. It will all make sense one day, all I can do right now is have faith and live my life.

Living my life is the part I'm struggling with. Let me give you a timeline here:
Thursday: got the heart break. stayed up until 6am crying. went to bed and woke up at 2:30 pm.
Friday: after waking up at 2:30pm went to san marcos and got my hair all chopped off. came back to have dinner with a friend, went out and got drunk. went home and went to bed.
Saturday: hungover, reluctantly went to work at 10:15am, had someone come in early at 3:00p, so i could leave and avoid said heart breaker. went home and went to bed at 5pm and didn't wake up until
Sunday: 10:30am i wake up and go to church. which was amazing and surprisingly about "surviving the storm". God never fails to slap you in the face. went home and went to bed and here i am.

Oh, and I painted this:

Anywho, I'm sure said heart breaker is not all worked up and upset about this, so I should probably just get over it. I'm sure he already has someone else lined up anyway.

Also, I think I probably pay Ben and Jerry's electric bill. They really know how to mend a broken heart. Speaking of... I am out of ice cream, so I'm off to CVS to feed my addiction.

Love to all of you,

-the fickle chicken.

"end" is the only part of the word i heard

(currently listening to : friend is a four letter word by cake)

Hi.

No sooner did I finish my last blog that I got the heart crushing of a life time.

How can one invest so much time into someone and try so hard to make it work just to see it all go down the drain.

I don't know where I went wrong.
I don't know if or how I can fix it.

I honestly have no idea. I have bawled my eyes out. I have considered extremes (as usual). I have gotten drunk. I have eaten enough food to feed an army. I have starved myself. I am weak and lonely and I don't know how to start over.

I had never been in love before. It seems impossible to re-learn how to function the way I did before I fell in love. I wish I could erase every moment, every tear, every... everything. I wish I could go back to May '09 and re-try college and be successful. If I had never messed up at Texas State, I would not have had to move to Austin. I would not have had to start working at a restaurant where I would not have gotten myself into this heart breaking situation.

I know I sound so depressing. I know I sound so attention-seeking. But when the only ears that have heard, really heard, you speak for the past year and a half are gone... who else do I have to turn to but this blank computer screen and these small black-and-white keys.

Perhaps one day I can look back and forget about these days. Perhaps one day I can see it all in a different light, with different eyes. Perhaps one day I will meet someone that will set the bar even higher than this one measley man has. Perhaps one day I can move forward with my life without constantly thinking what could have been, or what I could have done differently. But none of this seems likely.

It's so hard to know what to do. It's so hard to do things correctly or perfectly when you know that no matter what it's never going to end well.

I want so badly to be positive... to be able to say something else is there that is keeping me going, but right now nothing seems to matter.

I just wish I could change it.

Thank you for your time, all. You are all truly wonderful people.

-the fickle chicken.

p.s. i am closing my youtube account.

it's taking me further away from reality than i already am.

Long Time, No Blog!

(currently listening to: blessings by laura story)

Hey Friends and Friendettes,

I am happy to announce that my vlogging is going rather well. However, it has not left much time for me to actually BLOG! I feel the need to update you all on a few events before further promoting my video blog.

Education:
I am proud to let you all know that I will be attending austin community college in the fall! I'll only be taking english and history. You know, just dipping my feet in the water before I go full throttle into the college thing. I've been debating and debating on what I want my major to be. Finally, I narrowed it down to something in the medical field. Now, I'm pretty sure I want to be a medical examiner. Which is more forensic-e, but still has the word medical in it. Perhaps if it does not work out, I will be a nutritionist or something of that nature, but I'm hoping I will stay the medical examiner route.

Work:
I got a job at a little diner called 24 diner, and it was such a wonderful job. On my first night waiting tables there I made 90 dollars. It was almost too good to be true. It was too good to be true. A few miscommunications with the manager meant cutting down on shifts for me which eventualy led to me having to quit. I still work at good old Logan's Roadhouse, bartending and waiting tables. Eep.

Cosmetology:
Now, I know what you are all thinking. Didn't I go to cosmetology school? Yes. And I had my internship. And I hated it. But I went ahead and took my state board exam anyway. And I failed it. Thus, the new job at the diner. After much discouragement and encouragement and this and that, I finally mustered up the guts to reschedule the thing. I believe it was that moment that I was thrown off the ship at 24 diner that I decided to give my career another go. It's not worth it to be so stressed out about a measly restaurant job when I could be making money in the industry I went to school for. Alas, I will be taking my board exam a second time on July 18. I pray that I pass and that the right job comes along for me!

Love and That Other Bull Crap:
My little broken heart has slowly, but surely, mended itself back to almost whole. I no longer obsess over and wish for being in a relationship. I have come to an understanding with myself that I am all I need. I am comfortable and confident, and I don't need a man. Life is tooooo short for me to have to depend on, care for, cater to, answer to, or be there for anyone else. And vice versa. I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

That being said, my wonderful father just got married, and my beautiful mother will soon be getting married. I couldn't be happier for them both. They have both finally found someone that fits their needs. It's a good thing.

Okay okay now back to my Vlogging:
So if you go to this website, you will be able to watch all of the videos I have uploaded. I put a lot of work into all of them, and hope one day to become a YouTube partner. If you don't know what that means, it basically means I make money based on how many views, subscribers, comments, etc.. I get. So what YOU have to do is go like my facebook page to be notified of new updates AND/OR create a YouTube account, subscribe, like, and comment my videos. YouTube has opened my eyes to a whole new world, and I love it. I just hope to make it worth my time.

Hopefully I will be posting more blog updates as opposed to vlogs here pretty soon. Because my little fingers do miss typing out all the things on my fickle mind. And I always feel a little better after it's all out in black and white.

Love to all and stay fickle,

-the fickle chicken.

music plus blogging with a purpose!

(currently listening to swananana by baby bash ft slim thug)

Hey happy chickens,

Here goes another blog. thanks to Jared for the idea on this topic!

Basically it's all about music. Music is such a powerful thing. If I'm listening to something more aggressive, I tend to drive that way. If I listen to something a little more uplifting, I can usually drive more patiently. After an argument, I listen to something full of revenge (before he cheats by carrie underwood and bust your windows by jazmine sullivan are a few of my favorites). When I need a boost I love listening to Christian music. God is always ALWAYS something I love hearing about. (kirk franklin, tobymac, chris tomlin, nicole c. mullen, and so many more are my favorites). I also enjoy good rap, hip hop, and r&b if it's not too unwholesome. As I say in my video, I will never dog an artist. Even if their message isn't the best, they still have talent.

I don't know, you guys.. music is such a huge part of everyone's life. I couldn't imagine mine without it. There wouldn't be piano, drums, dance etc. And those are all things that are a part of me. Appreciate it and be thankful for it! :)

On another note, I really really want to start blogging with a purpose.. check out some of my favorite video bloggers (goGoons and soundlyawake) and see what I mean. It's almost like you can't stop watching them, they're so interesting! I need help and suggestions! Please message me on facebook or comment my blog and let me know! And tell all your friends about me! That is all. I love all of you! :)

Stay fickle!

-the fickle chicken.

pet peeves plus new youtube channel!

(currently listening to: me talking.. on YOUTUBE!)

Hey readers!

Just a little update on life: I'm now on youtube! So now those of you who really don't like to read a whole bunch of nothing, you can go listen to me babble about crap. :) My first episode was about pet peeves.

Here are some of them:

when people tell you who they are when you call
when people don't sanitize their equipment at the gym
forks and food smacking
the string things on tube tops
when people don't close the lid before they flush
when people don't unpack
when i leave my clothes in the dryer for days at a time
the boob things in bathing suits that always get messed up

THERE'S A BABY CRYING DOWN THE STAIRS OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT!

I'm not understanding.

Anywho, I'm gonna go get pizza for dinner tonight. I accomplished so much! I did spring cleaning, went and worked out, did all my laundry, washed my sheets, and posted two youtube videos! I just need to go to the bank and hit up double daves if there's one in north Austin!

Stay fickle, my loves,

-theficklechicken.

you can hate me, but why knock my hustle?

(currently listening to : bossy by kelis)

Happy readers,

I don't even know what to talk about these days. I get all these great ideas about topics, then I lose them. I want to blog with a purpose. My aunt has a cool blog about movies. She blogs with a purpose. I don't. I just talk and talk and talk. People will read more if they know they're going to get something valuable about it. If you have any ideas on an official purpose for me to blog about, please let it be known.

I guess until then, I'll update you on the happenings of my fickle life.

I'm quitting my salon job. Heart's not in it, what can ya do? I'm going to stick with working at the restaurant for a month or so, get back into college, hopefully find a salon I can booth rent at a few days a week. I really just don't care to go through an entire internship for something I don't plan on doing the rest of my life. Granted, it would have been a lot of money, it would have been fun eventually, and I learned a ton. It just wasn't for me.

this is what an internship does to your spirit.

I'm slowly, but surely getting confidence back. Because I'll no longer be consumed with a thirty minute commute to work, I'm going to start taking dance classes again. I know that will help a TON, and get my mind off of my stupid pitiful heart break. I never realized how long it can take a heart to mend. A heart that's been in real, raw, true love. This heart is still in love, but this heart also realizes that the love is unrequited. I'm loved in return, but it's a different kind of love.

That wasn't supposed to be about love, it was supposed to be about confidence. But whatever.

Anyway. I feel if I start dancing, I won't need love. That's how it was in high school. I went to dance classes and play practice instead of going on dates. I've never needed a boyfriend, so I've never had one. I'm hoping I can get back to that point.

I recently started watching a vlog. If you don't know what that is, it's a video blog pretty much. It's called "soundlyawake" on youtube. It's freaking hilarious. I'm considering doing video blogs instead of writing in my blog. Or maybe I'll combine the two.

I think I just decided what my next poll is going to be.

Should I do video blogs??

Let me know.

I miss my old liiiife!!!! I want the best of both worlds. :( I want it all.

My friends, next time I'm going to talk about a spiritual face lift I recently had. Oh and my cat. :D He's the joy of my life.

eugene, my cat. on the couch that i made a slip cover for. :D

Love to everyone,

-theficklechicken.

the results are in!

(currently listening to : clint eastwood by the gorillaz)

You are not the father!

Just kidding.

THANK YOU everyone who voted on the poll. :) That means there's a chance that you all have been reading my blog and this makes me ECSTATIC! :)

THE RESULTS:

your favorite part of daily fashion:

shoes - 6/17 (35%)

shirts - 3/17 (17%)

dresses - 1/17 (5%)

pants - 1/17 (5%)

undergarments - 3/17 (17%)

hair - 3/17 (17%)

So, let's talk SHOES!
I personally have 20 pairs of heels. That doesn't include sneakers, flats, or house shoes. Yes, buddy, I am thrilled to talk shoes. Shoes are great. They protect your feet, they can be stylish, comfortable, functional, and they come in ALL shapes and sizes! From tap shoes, to stilletos, to bunny slippers, to basketball shoes. Yes, my friends, shoes are fantastic.

the ones above are just a few from my collection.

Now on to SHIRTS! Shirts are also awesome. We all have that favorite t-shirt we like to sleep in, that cute top that brings out the best in us (or on us ;), the sweater we snuggle with when we're sick or feeling down, and that one that we wear at least once a week! Without shirts, we would all be topless. And, America, I hate to break it to ya, but that would not be a pretty sight!

yea, that's my favorite comfy sweater :)

woops :)

On to UNDERGARMENTS. :) No need to elaborate. Most of us have our favorite.

Last, but not least, my dear... HAIR! :) Hair is amazing. I do it. :) Your options are virtually endless when it comes to your hair as far as color, cut, and style. Wear your hair, love it. It's this great God given adornment, and we're here to ROCK IT!

Alright, loves, that's it! I'll be posting a new poll soon! Thank you so much for making this blog post possible. :) Keep reading, and stay fickle.

-the fickle chicken.

keep in mind, i don't own any of these pictures.

i got them all here.

except for the ones with me in them lol. :)

xoxo.



out with the new, in with the old.

(currently listening to: look at me now by chris brown)

I need to make a few changes. Ya see, I don't like some things about myself these days. Like the fact that I've been wearing my hair in a pony tail the past couple of days, I don't wear fun make up anymore, my wardrobe is so bland, and I don't ever go out! I've never been the average Jane. The "new" me is BORING. I liked some of the things about myself in college. Minus the stupidity..

This was me:

i miss my hott bod.

i miss hip hop congress!

i miss my confidence

i miss my stacked bob

I mean, I still have confidence, and a nice body, and happiness, and the ability to do my hair and makeup.. I just feel like I haven't had a reason to pull any of these things out of my hat. It's a tad ridic. So I'm saying I think I'm going to start making some changes. Get rid of this new slump and bring back some of the old me. Its not okay to ruin every gathering by sulking and crying about shit. We are young. Heart ache to heart ache lol. I think I was scared to be the old me on the outside because I didn't want to be the old me on the inside. I was DUUUUMB when I was in college. I made stupid choices and I am still paying for them, but I've realized that I can be who I want to be. I can make good choices and be strong and independent, but still be the confident person I was in college. Boo yea.

And so YOUUU, my fickle chickitas, can also be who you want to be. :) Life is too short!

That's all.

-the fickle chicken.

up there.

(currently listening to: the sound of rain on youtube)

I'm moving to seattle.

And no one is stopping me.

I'm first going to save up at least 6 months of living money.

Then I'm going to transfer my cosmetology license.

Then I'm going to transfer my lease to a different windsor community.

Then I'm going to hire some movers.

Then I'm going to run like hell.

Then I'm going to have a new life!

:)

Talk about fickle.

-the fickle chicken.

the goods

(currently listening to : sleepyhead by passion pit)

Dears,

Today I went and saw a movie with a friend. I drove home, and almost ran into a guard rail. I suck at driving, especially since my car accident. Ever since that stupid day I have realized that nothing is promised. Death is inevitable. None of us are going to make it out of this life alive. Blah blah blah. I am at this constant battle with myself every stinkin day since that stupid accident. "Why do people fight for survival?" "What's the point of all this?" "When am I going to die?" and more blah. I've finally just decided after I almost got into yet another car accident today to just live life. Just be happy and appreciate things and do the best I can. So here's a list of all the cool stuff in life.

pssst, need a blanket?

sleeping naked

because no one is stopping you.

but, i thought you were mine? :(

monogamy

get it all out of your system while you're young and stupid. then grow up and stop being selfish. and if you're going to continue to be selfish, at least be honest about it. monogamy doesn't necessarily mean marriage, so that's no excuse to be promiscuous, but come on. you owe it to yourself and everyone else.

cross my heart, hope to die.

honesty

be honest with yourself. be honest with me. be honest with him. be honest with her. there's a reason why it's the best policy. and see above

all for me :)

.bowls of cereal at three in the morning

after that bowl of popcorn, that bowl of ice cream, that bowl of candy, that plate of nachos...

who wouldn't want summa this lovin?

getting that pet you've always wanted

i mean, you only live once. (or do you?)

hey friend, thanks for holdin my hand.

holding hands

ah, physical interaction. never gets old. also, getting your hair shampood by someone else. (like me!)

i did it, i did it!

setting goals and accomplishing them

those community service hours, that college degree, that high school diploma, that seven minute mile, that triathalon, that book you've been meaning to read...

thanks! that sign in front of your face makes you look beautiful too :)

kind words

even i do it sometimes, but cursing at people is not a cool thing. spread kindness like a disease please.

wahhhh. wahhhhhhhhhh.

crying

it freakin feels good. and it does well for your stress levels. it's human. do it.

that is genuine. i can feel the happiness.

laughing

what's that? in this generation? hell no, we're all too bitter, we have too many problems, we're all diagnosed with this that or the other, we're too serious for that nonsense. kick off your shoes and let out a gut laugh. your abs will thank you for it.

Okay, all, Eugene (my precious cat who will be featured in a blog post soon) is demanding all of my attention right now, so I guess I'm calling it a night. But seriously, stop sweating the small stuff and live your life. What else would you do with it? Mister Grim Reaper is coming for us all, but you can't just sit around and wait for him. We can't wallow in sorrow over something that happens to everyone some how some day. Go on about your day. Be merry.

Love,

-the fickle chicken.

p.s. i don't own any of these pictures

and i don't know any of these people.

i googled them all. :) 

just lettin ya know.